Lockdown Log – 2nd May

Keeping myself in check.


Like many people, that little voice in the back of my head isn’t always my friend. With lockdown continuing and set to for an undetermined amount of time, with no access to a proper routine, home workouts not precisely doing the same and a visible expanding waistline that voice has a lot more ammunition than it usually does.


Between last night and today, small things really seem to be getting to me. Did someone say that that way meaning they don’t want to talk to me anymore? I’m hungry, so I really shouldn’t have that packet of popcorn. I really don’t feel like going out for a run today, so I must be a horrible person. Don’t look at yourself as you pass the mirror, you’ll only look fatter. All those projects you’ve been working on? Why bother. People don’t understand it, and they are going to fail anyway. Sound familiar?


That little voice, or as RuPaul calls it, the inner saboteur, is being a right little dick just now for lack of a better phrase.


Thankfully, I know this is all in my head and just a little blip. It has been building up so have been able to adjust accordingly. Tonight to combat this voice, who I’m going to give a name to… Steve (sorry to all the Steve’s out there), I’m going to look after me and have a pamper night. Steve can get himself back in his little cage from which he crawled and go back to being silent. If I need tomorrow as well? I’m going to take tomorrow and restart again on Monday. Each day is a fresh start and Steve just needs put back in his place.


I’ll be fine, I’m strong and have dealt with this before. A good Disney vlog will help later on and a cuddle from the massive Stitch plush(s) I have will do without access to physical hugs.


Take care, keep safe, wash your hands and try and keep your own little voice in check if they become vocal. Tell them to get back into their cage!

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